Now that summer has begun...

My schedule is as follows:

1. Peep open one eye to see husband leave for his run after he throws dog on bed to smother me

2. Roll over and give self "pep talk" to get out of bed and beg dog to go back to sleep.

3. Close eyes again for just 5 more minutes

4. 30 minutes later wake up again as hubby comes back to shower & get ready for work

5. Drag self out of bed and sit on edge of tub to say "good morning" to hubby

6. See self in bathroom mirror

7. Walk out of bathroom

8. Put on exercise clothing

9. Give self pep talk to run whilst considering if you might be too old for said run because your back/knees/neck/ankles/feet all ache...and you're hungry...and you haven't had coffee yet

10. Run and then walk a lot because (see #9)

11. Shower but can't wash hair because I forgot to buy shampoo & conditioner AGAIN...and say good morning to whomever has awoken and say goodbye to hubby

12. Get coffee and sit at computer to answer emails, edit, plan and blog

13. Daughter #3 needs a pancake...fix pancake, give cuddles, back to editing

14. Sit at computer to go back to editing

15. Daughter #2 gets up and wants to discuss the, listen, count my blessings

16. Try to remember what session I was editing

17. Daughter #1 finally gets up...remind all girls to do chores, and summer school work

18. Get distracted by Facebook while posting a sneak peek

19. Some daughter needs instruction on chores or something got caught in the vacuum or someone else can't find underwear or...

20. Back to editing...

21. TOTALLY forgot about vet appointment and orthodontist appointment...throw everyone in the car and head out

22. Back home, after an extra stop to the post office and traffic due to construction!!!

23. Remember that it's past lunch and attempt to find something to eat for everyone...

24. Smell something really bad in the fridge and realize it's curdled, week old milk and I forgot to go grocery shopping this week.

25. Toast and Spaghettios for lunch!!!

26. Start all over on the editing plan and try to post to IG and FB...answer emails and schedule photo sessions while texting hubby and running times by daughters to work around 4H, tennis, business travel and VBS

27. Daughter #3 needs help with school work

28. Daughters 1,2 and 3 all want friends over...feel guilty because I am a SAHM and it's totally possible but I am totally behind on all things photography (and laundry, grocery shopping and I really wanted to read a book in there)

29. Suck it up and have all the friends over...laugh in the kitchen and remember that life is great and kids are awesome...

30. dinner, VBS (or some other evening activity)...dishes are still all over the sink, laundry still in the bathtub and on the bedroom floor, marshmallows in the basement leftover from a goofy game with all the friends...sink back into desk chair at 9:30pm and "pep talk" as to how long you can stay up answering the rest of the emails, messages and load one more gallery...

31. start all over again :)

I was exhausted as a mother of toddlers...I lacked sleep at night because daughters 1 and 2 were horrible sleepers...I was constantly on my feet running after them and doing ALL.THE.THINGS....

I thought things would settle down as they got they got more independent...

this is NOT not believe ANYONE that tells you that things get "easier" as they get older...

It may get "easier" in the sense that you don't have to physically CARRY them places or change poopy diapers and perhaps you get to sleep more than 2 hours at a time...but, it is a far cry from "easier" on the whole...

I will be honest that I've never felt more vulnerable, more exhausted, more clueless, or as utterly grateful as I do in this season of life...

granted, I now have a "job" of sorts when I had nothing outside of caring for the kids for 10-11 years..I'm sure this ministry/photography puts a little added challenge in the mix, but even without it, I see my calendar fill up & my list is ever growing...

I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING, but I'm thankful...and this, I think, is the key!

I'm not a type A person, I lack organizational skills and I'm easily distracted...I'm a creative and that makes me a good photographer, but not so good at the planning...I love the people I meet and I love this incredible job that I'm the same time, my daughters are growing into young women and I'm wondering if I'm doing this "parenting thing" right at all...

There is no balance...or if there is, I haven't discovered it...there are days that I'm really good at the photography gig...those are typically the days that I totally screw up the "keep the house presentable" gig...There are incredible days that the girls and I completely CLICK and I think I've got it made...those are also the days that I forget to answer a client email and leave them hanging for 2 months...

I will never, ever be house won't look it, my body won't look it, my kids won't achieve it either!

and I'm, so, so slowly coming to realize that it's not only okay, but it's not expected...

I'm sure others would love if I were perfect...if the laundry was always done from start to finish...if my cooked meals were DELISH 100% of the time...if I hit perfection with every shot that came out of my camera AND I delivered galleries within 24 hours...

I'm about living life to the fullest and being as REAL as I can be...authentic is probably overused, but it's true...because if I can help someone else in the trenches, then we can grab hands and cheer one another on...and learn to be grateful for what we've got!

If you DO have it all figured out, more power to ya babe! I know social media only shows the best, but you can rest assured that it's not REAL!

So here's to SUMMER...with crazy schedules and more to coffee in the morning while trying to juggle phone calls and figuring out AP history editing while simultaneously blogging, scheduling posts and listening to daughters giggle over heading to the library and remembering to post that IG image and finding just the right book for the learning to deal with "mommy guilt", while time is skipping past, but knowing you just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right/best thing that you can...

Keep on friends...and be grateful!

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