He's HOME!!!

I haven't blogged all week...

To be honest, I didn't trust myself to actually write a coherent string of words that could be construed as sentences...

I've not wanted to think about it too much because my "crazy" comes out and I get all anxious and nervous and scared and then I'm scared it will just freeze me up...

"What is the problem, Colleen?" you may be asking???

Well...

Let me back up just a little bit and give you the background info on yours truly...

I know sometimes I may appear...(appear being the operative word) as though I've got it all under control...Oh, I try to juggle a gazillion things all at once and smile and laugh and do silly dances in the kitchen with my girls...I post my pictures and I updates statuses...but, the fact of the matter is that my hubby's presence has a LOT to do with that persona...

When he is around, the pressure is off...I let things slide because I know he's got it covered...I don't concern myself with clogged toilets or bees in the house...if there is a bad "parenting" day, I know that he'll take up the slack...

This week however, he and my brother went on a Wilderness Expedition to Algonquin, Canada...

Now, let me also remind you that my idea of "camping" is a Marriott!  Therefore this "wilderness" thing had me a tad worried

(okay, a LOT worried...because...ummm, BEARS, MOOSE, WOLVES...oh my)

My brother has been on this trip over 15 times and knows what it entails.  Anthony has been interested in it for quite awhile and thought that this year would be the year to try it.

It encompasses a 55 mile canoe/portage trip in the lakes/rivers of the Algonquin Park.  I lost cell phone reception with him on Sunday night around 9:45pm...from that moment on, until yesterday, I had no contact with him...

Let us ponder what this means to a woman who loves words, who loves interaction with her loved ones on a constant basis, a woman who needs to get out her 982374658923468 words EVERY.SINGLE.DAY!!! And she likes to give a majority of them to her husband!!!

There is also the usual comfort of having someone beside you at night...the knowledge that they are right there...it becomes the norm...and for me, with younger children, it means that if a fire breaks out, a robber gets in, a tornado strikes, I've got an extra adult doing the "adulting" with me to be sure that all 3 kids are safely protected. (these are the ridiculous things that go through my mind as I'm triple checking all the locked windows, unplugging every device and making sure my Mag light is on my night stand when he's away)

I discovered that I CAN do a lot of the jobs that I've typically assigned to him...we did survive and not JUST survive...I actually cooked dinners, helped with homework, got everyone to their activities on time...My dear, sweet friends made lunch, breakfast and coffee dates with me almost every day to be sure I got some of those words out in a healthy way...

I am tired though...

you know...the whole not sleeping thing and holy-crap-its-still-dark-at-5:30AM...

 BUT HE IS HOME NOW!!!

He had an incredible trip and we haven't even touched the surface of all the video footage & images that they captured together...I really am thankful for the time they had to unplug away from all the STUFF and fast-paced stresses...I know they are bodily sore, but I think refreshed...

And, my SIL was right...it was good for me too...

And all joking and venting aside...not 2 hours later, that I was able to speak with him as he came out of the wilderness, I was chatting with another mom at the elementary school whose husband is being deployed for 6 months starting in October...and another friend, who passed away last week, has a husband left here learning his new normal without her comforting voice beside him...

I don't mean to get all weepy or sentimental...and in NO WAY am I trying to compare my piddly 4 day stint without my hubby with the challenges that lie ahead for them...

I do believe however, that we are given the measure of grace necessary in JUST the times that we need them...in order to choose to put one foot in front of the other...it doesn't mean we aren't tired or even lonely...but there is light...there is still hope....

anyway...those are my jumbled thoughts from this week...

I have more edits to accomplish and things to do but today, I'm taking a moment to soak in his return and spend some quality time with him by my side...

Have a great weekend...

p.s. you can enjoy these pictures that I got off his phone and from my brother's downloads...