ONE WORD: ENOUGH

Everyone needs a little motivation from time to time...
to KICK it into gear...
to get that behind moving in a direction...

I will admit that I am not foreign to that need, but for the most part, when it comes to being a parent, wife, friend, photographer...I'm ALL in, seemingly ALL the time...I'm relentless, I have a n addiction to pushing and striving and "go get it" attitudes...

Where I actually need more motivation is when it comes to housecleaning, cooking, yucky jobs... then again, who doesn't?

but, all those other things...I feel as though I'm on a constant treadmill that likes to speed up from time to time and I'm pumping as hard as I can, not only trying to keep up, but to get better and better...

Therefore, I don't necessarily need the "pep-talk" to DO MORE...

I'm actually the opposite...

I find myself nit-picking all the areas that I'm lacking, where I fail, when I don't feel like I measure up...

This year, my word is ENOUGH


You may have seen the "one word" movement from quite awhile ago...it has morphed over the years into bracelets and other things, but it's been a way to have some closure to the year past and look to the future...

Past years, my words have been :
SEE
CHOOSE
FOCUS
CONNECT
and this year, I landed on ENOUGH.

The meaning is twofold...specifically to me...

On one hand, I need the reminder that the WHO that I am is ENOUGH...

that my identity isn't wrapped up in my performance, my abilities, my talent, in my ability to get people to agree with me or even like me...this is such a hard concept for me to allow to sink in...I'm a people pleaser by nature and there are countless ways that I see myself failing to achieve the levels of expectation that I perceive others have for me, let alone the ones I set up for myself...

however, I want to be reminded this year that I am loved NOT because I am actually "good enough"...That's the irony in it all, NOONE is "good enough"...I will NEVER attain perfection, no matter how hard I try, no matter how many people may "think" I have it figured out...

it's really where the whole "But, God" comes in...
I forget that part...
I leave that part off...
I just settle on the "I'm not enough" and forget to continue reading:

 I'm not enough...
        ...but God, gives me the strength
        ...but God is in me
        ...but God, has a plan specifically for ME
        ...but God tells me I can do all things

This obviously is by NO MEANS a "free ticket" to slack off...I can't even fathom that...it's not in me to slow down...this is more about a mind-set, a heartview, a confidence that lies in the security of Someone that can handle it.

And I want to remember, to let it sink in just how much I am loved in every moment of everyday, even with my mistakes & mess ups...and my successes don't make me MORE loved, or more "enough"...

The flip side of my "word" is to know when to SAY enough...to have better discernment this year, to know when I need to let things go, say no to certain things, be okay with rest, to be CONTENT with what we have and know that He has the future awaiting and has GOOD in mind for us.

I will struggle with this all year...my mind is always spinning for better, newer ways to do things...and that's not wrong in and of itself...my difficulty is when I wrap my identity up in my performance and how I think about myself & our circumstances.

I don't really make "new year resolutions"...I suppose I don't even really set specific goals...I'm wired in this crazy, spontaneous way that I sort of just keep trying to do the next "right thing" and see what pops up...

along the way though, I want to have a better understanding, discernment and concept of my own heart & thoughts...which will be modeling to my daughters, demonstrating love to my husband, showing grace to others, asking forgiveness for my shortcomings & mistakes...and all the while, knowing that my "standing" isn't founded in those "things" either.

I'm looking forward to 2017...I still have much to learn, much to share, much to give, much to soak up...

Happy New Year!!!

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